Regrets - many of us experienced that at different point of our lives. I just did! I didn't get to visit my cousin and say goodbye to him before he went home to be with the Lord.As long as I can remember, growing up was always like 7 in e family, my parents, both my grandmas, my brother, me and my cousin! He stayed with us whenever he didn't have to travel, you see, he was a sailor. Childhood memories of him bringing us toys, clothings, accessories whenever he came back from a long trip always warm my heart. He loved music. In fact, it was because of his love of music that I started playing the piano. It all started when my mother and my uncle each bought a piano, even before I was conceived! Mum was hoping that after I was born, I would pick it up, as no one in the family was musically inclined, except my cousin Joseph. Whenever he was in town, piano practice became a chore! He would sit right next to me and forced me to practice. I remember the time when he wanted me to learn the song: The Maiden's Prayer, I cried, cos my fingers were not long enough to press all the octaves (I was only 9), so I had my neighbour to help me 'pull' and stretch my thumbs and pinkies apart everyday. Ouch! But the satisfaction was whenever I started playing the piano, my dad and cousin would close their eyes and enjoy the music! It was years later that I started loving music! And I have to thank my cousin for that! I am where I am today serving God because of this love of music! What a deep impact that was!
When we last visited him, he was already hallucinating, telling us that he was being locked and trapped inside the house. He wanted us to help him get out. But yet, he talked sense at times, especially everytime when we prayed for him. Before we left, he begged us to stay and keep him company. He told us he was lonely and afraid. He said he had no one beside him. His eyes were filled with plea. My heart ached! We had to leave!
What now? Now that he's gone? I wished I was there yesterday! I wished I knew he was going! I wished! But what now?
Well, after the natural process of grieving is over, we have to pick ourselves up and move on! Not that we want to forget him, but like one of my dear friend mentioned before,now we have to make everyday of our lives count! Making it worth! Making a difference! I want to impact someone else's life too, just like my cousin. At the end of the day, what would my life count for depends on how I live it now!
